The “IN” of Integrity
To be IN integrity means hearing that you screw up sometimes.
A few months ago I stopped in my tracks as I listened to a podcast with the incomparable Michelle Davis. She said “INtegrity” — with a strong emphasis on the first syllable IN. With that simple and subtle shift in how she said the word, I heard Michelle challenge me to be IN. To be fully, completely, undivided about my ethos.
Integrity. For me, it’s a word I’ve heard so many times and lives so much in my felt-sense of the word that if you asked me to define it, I’d be grasping at straws. So I looked it up. Integrity: adherence to a moral or ethical code; the state of being complete and undivided.
And yet, I come back to Michelle’s voice… INtegrity. That way of saying it made me think beyond, as in: to be fully IN your integrity, what do you need to be?
Are you willing to get rocked?
You also have to walk the walk even when it gets shaky, and knowing you won’t do it right all the time.
Listing your principles isn’t a box to be checked. We could all list organizations and people that talk about their values, but revert to the easy path when standing in your values would seem like it’s going to cause pain.
I work in partnership with BIPOC coaches, and they have told me when I’ve screwed up. They’ve told me that my actions and my intention fell out of step. They criticize me, they hold me accountable. And I treasure them for it.
Know your guiding principles
Another voice I can’t get out of my head: Hamilton saying to Burr “If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?” from the Lin Manuel Miranda musical. As I focus more intentionally on building meaningful partnership in my work, I really look at myself, my partners, my clients: are they standing in alignment with their guiding beliefs, and do I even know what their guiding beliefs are.
- When a potential partner approaches me focused solely on financial gain/business growth. I know I can’t stand in my integrity with them.
- When a client steps towards me wanting to check-off an item on a to-do list, I can’t stand in my integrity with them.
Living IN integrity, living by your code, means you have to know your own code — your own guiding principles.
To get there, you have to:
- Get clear on your deeply-held values.
- Know what you will take a stand for.
- Be in tune with YOUR life purpose.
